In 1998, while living in London, England, I began seeing my first counsellor, a wicked and wise 63 year-old name Valerie. Every two weeks I traveled to Wallingford, Oxfordshire by train, always eager for our sessions. I yearned to speak to someone who could help me make sense of things, of why I felt so different and troubled, and with whom I could be myself, as best I could in those early days of inner work.
Valerie was intelligent and fierce, which bode well for the one in me who could easily deceive and out-wit others. Unique in comparison to all healing practitioners I saw after (and there were many!), she was not afraid to pull out her sword and call my bullshit. One time, when I was getting cocky, she looked me square in the eyes and cut me off mid-sentence, stating, “That’s not who you are!” There are not many counsellors bold enough to do that!
What I remember most about our time together lies not in words spoken, but in the silence of Valerie’s piercing, wise eyes. The light of her soul saw right through me, beyond my bravado, all my protective disguises. She saw me for who I was, into a depth I longed to set free and one I had forgotten. Her seeing, alone, activated a remembrance; it awoke and liberated hidden parts of my authentic self, parts I learned to judge, shame, and believed were unwanted in such a callous world. Fortnightly, her unwavering wise eyes said, “It’s okay Vince, you are unlike others. You see things differently in a deeply confused world… It’s safe to be you! I see you!”
Being seen for the first time, how healing, how radical, how life-changing that was! In what were desperate and lonely times, I yearned and burned so much for this, without knowing what I hungered for. I longed for someone to love me!
My friend Lynda Austin says, “Love is seeing someone for who they are and holding them in that place.” More than just being a skilled professional, Valerie knew how to love me; how to compassionately witness and hold space for what I call the little t and Big T — the truth of my pained story and victim identity, and the bigger Truth of my soul essence, my soul power, the noble one inside who is wise, loving, compassionate, worthy, a brave warrior, innocent beyond understanding.
We all deserve and long to be seen for who we are, to be held in a spacious love that says without words, “I know you have suffered greatly and I am here for you… and you are more than just a survivor; you are more than your story. You are a powerful soul!”
Never underestimate the power of this kind of love that is a reminding force for those who have lost their way and forgotten the Truth of who they are; a love that refuses to reduce people to a disempowering and false self-image. Never underestimate the power of this divine service to others. Whether in a struggling family member or friend or the tattered homeless person, (or in yourself), compassionately recognize their suffering, but also see in them a higher abiding Truth — a Courageous Soul Warrior, the invincible nature of their Loving and Powerful Spirit.
For Love is Truth, and Truth by its very nature forever sees Truth!
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Healing & Activation: My invitation to you is to participate in my online healing and activation ceremonies. Drawing upon the power and mystery of Starlight and its many emanations, transformation takes place at the quantum or cellular level, creating radical changes in health and empowerment.
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Check out Vince’s book: Wild Empty Spaces ~ Poems for the Opening Heart
