We Pine for Fridays Because We Live Separate from Ourselves and Life

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We Pine for Fridays Because We Live Separate from Ourselves and Life

The act of throwing ourselves to the pavement and into a frenzy because, at long last, we’ve reached Friday is outdated and needs ending. This myopia says much about the maturity of Western society, and how much we compartmentalize our lives, separate ourselves from joy, family, friends, nature, our gifts, values, intuition, a deeper calling, and much more.   Personally, I am glad I no longer crave Friday nights, nor loathe Monday mornings. I am grateful I cannot separate work from play, professional from personal, and that I continuously fail to know if it is a statutory holiday. Each day unfolds into the next as though it is one continuous movement that cannot be broken down into fragments that split me apart, leaving bits of me shattered and […]

The Disease of Being Right

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The Disease of Being Right

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there.” ~ Rumi It’s well known that when children are abused, emotionally or physically, often, if not usually, they believe it’s their fault. They did something wrong. This was true for me. I took to heart the various abuses inflicted on me when young. It was if a sword was pushed deep into my heart. The deepest wound is to the human heart, a wound that perhaps can never fully heal. It was not just that I believed I did something wrong, but more so, I believed that I was inherently wrong. There is a distinction here, an important one. We are not human doings, after all, but human beings, deeply […]

Be Gentle On Yourself and Children. There is Another Way.

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Be Gentle On Yourself and Children. There is Another Way.

“Nothing is so strong as gentleness. Nothing is so gentle as real strength.” ~ Ralph W. Sockman I had to learn the hard way, ironically. Given where I came from and what I had to endure as a small child, and the rough edges of schooling and society I grew up in, it is only natural that gentleness would be considered a weakness, a way of being that in no way could serve and protect me. I’m not the only one. If raised in an environment of consistent gentle affection and care then this becomes how we understand love and life to be; it becomes our learned experience and it improves the likelihood that we recreate that experience in our future relationships, including our relationship […]

Relaxation and Trust are Two Sides of the Same Coin. Both Lead us Back to Love.

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Relaxation and Trust are Two Sides of the Same Coin. Both Lead us Back to Love.

It’s not easy to relax. The individualistic, hectic, consumerist Western world makes this so. There are bills to pay, mouths to feed, kids to shuffle, classes to attend and homes to clean. Our lives, as they say in Britain, are “chock-a-block”—cluttered, making quiet time for us a precious rarity. Looking closer, however, we can see that core to the issue is not busy schedules, but rather our inability to trust. Can we trust others to help us; to do the bookkeeping accurately, clean the kitchen, ensure the children have the proper food in their lunchbox? Perhaps our spouse and co-workers have let us down before making it difficult to trust them, and thus relax. Or maybe we still need them to do it our way […]

We Over-Educate Children Because We Over-Think and Are Afraid to Feel

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We Over-Educate Children Because We Over-Think and Are Afraid to Feel

There is enough research to clearly show that we are over-educating, over-pushing our children in school. But if you need extra evidence, here are two studies for you: “According to Daphna Bassok, an assistant professor of education and public policy at the University of Virginia, in 1998, 30% of teachers believed that children should learn to read while in kindergarten. In 2010, that figure was at 80%.” ~ Why are our kids so miserable? | Jenny Anderson, Quartz  “One major study of 700 preschool classrooms in 11 states found that only 15 percent showed evidence of effective interactions between teacher and child. Fifteen percent.” ~ The New Preschool Is Crushing Kids | Erika Christakis, The Atlantic If you need more research, please read Inspiring, Troubling […]

The Right Brain Develops First ~ Why Play is the Foundation for Academic Learning

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The Right Brain Develops First ~ Why Play is the Foundation for Academic Learning

Photo credit: Allan Ajifo/flickr (CC BY 2.0) Did you know that the right brain develops first? It does so by the time children are 3-4 years of age. The left brain, on the other hand, doesn’t fully come online until children are approximately seven years old; hence the first seven years being recognized as such a critical period in child development. “Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.” ~ Albert Einstein The left brain’s functionality is one of language, numeracy, literacy, analysis and time. It is the logical, calculating, planning, busy-bee part of us that keeps us anchored in the pragmatic world, and in past and future. The right brain, on the other hand, is responsible for empathy, intuition, imagination and creativity. […]

Yes he’s a Bigot, but Trump’s a Powerful Mirror Inviting Deeper Change

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Yes he’s a Bigot, but Trump’s a Powerful Mirror Inviting Deeper Change

Bigot. Racist. Misogynist. Xenophobe. Donald Trump is the poster child for these shadowy human characteristics, and obviously should not be the next President of the United States. It is frightening to consider this belligerent man “holding the codes” and “hovering his hand over the red button.” He deserves every ounce of concern, outrage and condemnation projected his way. But our rightful finger waving and detest is not where the story ends. In fact, it is only the beginning. Trump may just be one of the most devilishly packaged gifts mankind has been given. Yet, if we cannot unravel ourselves from our disdain and chastisement, we may not sense the larger opportunity he affords the US, and beyond. Our spell of myopia may entrap us as […]

When You Can No Longer Dance the Dance of Roles in Your Relationship

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When You Can No Longer Dance the Dance of Roles in Your Relationship

“It takes more courage to examine the dark corners of your own soul than it does for a soldier to fight on a battlefield.” ~ W. B. Yeats Roles have been around since man first graced the planet. I’m not talking about outer roles such as butcher, baker and candlestick maker. Rather, I’m speaking about inner roles such as Pleaser, Controller, Stablizer, and Go-To-Person. Also knows as emotional functions, they are ways of being in the world not unique to us. Anyone can be an Accommodator, Cynic, Peacemaker, Good Girl/Boy and Bad Girl/Boy. We have all at one point been these characters, for within us there is a bit of each. But not everyone can or will be a police officer, legal assistant, rock star […]

Inspiring Quotes to Ignite Imagination, Wonder and Laughter

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Inspiring Quotes to Ignite Imagination, Wonder and Laughter

If you need a quick read to bring a smile to your face, or are simply gathering information, I offer these inspiring quotes to bring you back to the child within—to that part of us who never forgot the importance of laughing for no particular reason, of imagining far beyond what the rational mind can comprehend, and of sitting in wonder at the miracle we wake to every day. If you want more inspiration, check out my Inspiring Quotes for Child Learning and Development, and Playful Quotes for the Child in your Heart. You may also want to watch this short, fun and inspiring video called Come Out and Play ~ Embracing Life’s Infinite Playground. Also… check out Vince’s book: Let the Fire Burn ~ Nurturing the […]

There’s No Such Thing as “Just” Being Silly

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There’s No Such Thing as “Just” Being Silly

“All animals, except man, know that the principal business of life is to enjoy it.” ~ Samuel Butler The other day I overheard a mother say to her son, “Oh, you’re just being silly, aren’t you?” He was goofing off and giggling in the most delightfully innocent and innocuous of ways. The mother’s tone was kind and intention heartfelt. But there was something stirring in her word “just” that struck me deep, an old shallow story that still saturates adult minds. That play is somehow frivolous is a belief still holding true for many. And yet ask any adult how hard play is for them. Ask them how easily they let themselves sing and dance spontaneously, how freely they dream, how fully they give themselves […]