Sharing versus Telling ~ Communication for Staying Centered in the Self
It is natural for us to tell people what to do. It is part of the human condition to believe we know what is best for others. This may be true when we are with young children and, for example, we see a child approaching a moving car. In that moment it is probably wise to tell the child to stand back. But as children grow older, we know less and less what is best for them. We can assume, but chances are our ideas for others are simply that – our own ideas, not theirs. We can only speak on behalf ourselves, not on behalf of others. When we speak on behalf of ourselves we share instead of tell. We share from our own […]
Three Levels of Playful Mirroring
“Mirror your partner’s dreams; the relationship will grow.” ~ Unknown. I was walking down the street the other day and I saw a little girl pretending she was a soldier. She marched along, erect, focused, her arms swaying straight as an arrow and in perfect rhythm, painted with a stoic countenance. She was a soldier indeed! And walking right beside her was her father (I think it was her father), who mirrored her exactly. She marched along, and so did he, walking side by side in unison and intent, with a spirit of playing along. Mirroring is a great way to practice Yes And and honour the creative contributions of another. It invites what I call the Dance of Yes And where two or more […]
The Spirit of Yes And
Yes But sees Limitations. Yes And sees Possibilities. But Separates. And Joins. We live in a society that is well trained to say Yes But. We are more conditioned to see limits than possibilities. Saying Yes is respecting your, or someone else’s, feeling, idea or circumstance and being open to what it may have to offer. It is about acknowledging, appreciating and including without judgement, without the need to fix, and without even the need to agree. Saying And is finding creative ways to build upon it and then playfully seeing where it goes. There is no aliveness or potential in Yes But. It keeps us in the proverbial box and living in the status quo. The adventure of life begins when we take the […]