Owning Your 50% ~ Transforming Conflict into Growth
In the heat of conflict it is much easier to react than to stay grounded and open. We default to defending our position rather than taking responsibility for our part. We are always playing a role in conflict, whether it is on an overt or subtle level. Owning our 50% takes self-awareness and humility – we must surrender our position and explore how we have contributed to the situation. Recently a friend was upset that I didn’t get back to her sooner. I told her that from my point of view I didn’t feel a need to rush a response. However, from her point of view it only made sense that I would get back within a day. Instead of looking to strengthen my position […]
4 Ways to Not Know
“When nothing is sure, everything is possible.” ~Margaret Drabble Something we tend to struggle with is accepting and communicating that we do not know. To the extent that we have been raised to believe that knowledge is power, we have come to believe that not knowing is weak and unproductive. As such, being honest about not knowing is difficult, and we feel pressure to act as if we know, when in fact we don’t. We fear judgment, asking for help and feeling as if we are a failure. Where in your life are you not accepting that you do not know? If you were to make it OK to not know, what would you do differently? Four ways to express not knowing “I don’t know.” […]
6 Ways to Live a Playful Life ~ How Big is Your Playground?
“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?” ~ Dr. Seuss. Play is training for unconventional and creative living. One could say play is a radical act – for adults! When we allow ourselves to live as authentically playful beings, we stand out from the crowd, from the ways we, and others, are expected to be. As we grow up, we lose our spontaneity and freedom. Look at how children behave. They twirl around street posts and skip over lines while the rest of us walk straight down the sidewalk. They dance carefree to a busker’s music while the rest of us stand and watch. They engage strangers like friends while we offer only a generic courtesy. They speak up fully and emotionally, while we keep our […]
4 Keys to Conscious Communication
Even though we communicate all the time, for most of us, we have never received any training or education on how to communicate. We fumble our way through many messy conversations and relationships without the skills gleaned from being a student of conscious communication. Being a student begins with knowing that we communicate not only with our words, but also with our movement and energy. A slight shift in our body language can convey a new message. And our energy, how we are being, can create subtle ripples of influence that are intuitively received by others, and that impact the tone of our words. We become conscious communicators when we are aware of our words, body language and energy in every interaction. Aware means being […]
Becoming Free Again
How long will you hide your beautiful festive smile. Teach your laughter to a flower, manifest an eternity. ~ RUMI. One of the things I most love about children is their capacity for full self-expression. One minute they are laughing, another minute crying and yet another minute stomping their feet in anger. They move freely and fluidly between the many emotions that lie within. As we get older there is much shame and guilt that begins to attach to these emotions. We fear them and thus fear expressing them into our world. Children remind us who we are ~ free, fully expressed and alive, like the child in this video. Her magnificence of expression and unbridled soulful presence fills the room. Despite being small and innocent she is incredibly powerful. […]
The Feelings Behind Your Need
A complaint is an unspoken request. We share our needs with others and hope they are met. We may ask someone to help clean the house or complete the project on time. When we ask multiple times and the need is still not met it is natural to complain and feel powerless – asking again for the fourth time isn’t changing anything and yet saying nothing isn’t helping either. What is not being said that needs to be heard? Level 1 ~ Initial Request: When you express a need for first time, not only share what you want done, but say how having it done would make you feel and why it is important to you. “Sharing household duties makes me feel we have an equal […]
Playful Revolution
Be Playful and you’ll Rock the Boat, Rattle the Senses, and Wake People from the Status Quo. When we play we give Joy to the world. And because most of us are used to feeling more stress than joy, it can be a bit unsettling when confronted with a playful spirit. A participant recently told me how her co-worker said to follow her outside. She went into her car, turned on some music (loudly!) and began dancing. The participant hesitated for a moment, but soon happily danced away as passer-by’s watched and scratched their heads. As the video demonstrates, we are all wanting to let our hair down and raise our spirit’s up! We are all wanting to be free! And yet we need playful […]
Connect Before You Correct
Connection is the Foundation for Communication. It is an art form to receive someone fully before offering an opinion that counters their own. We tend to correct without first allowing a connection to be established. It’s how we do things in this fast paced, pressured society – we jump to offering opinions and expertise, or slip into fixing mode. “Don’t walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me, and be my friend.” ~ Albert Camus What if we walked beside someone, giving their thoughts and feelings room to breathe before offering our own? To do this we need to: slow down & listen understand that acceptance does not mean agreement validate their […]
22 Keys to Intuitive Living
“There is something in every one of you that waits and listens for the sound of the genuine in yourself. It is the only true guide you will ever have. And if you cannot hear it, you will all of your life spend your days on the ends of strings that somebody else pulls.” ~ Howard Thurman Intuition is… the knowing/sensing of something beyond time, space, reason, the use of prior knowledge and the five senses. It is the gateway to your soul. 1. Permission When you wake up in the morning, start your day by giving yourself permission to be intuitive. Remember, intuition is your natural state; therefore, you do not need to work at it, but rather allow it to express itself through you […]
The Language of Play ~ Empowering Words for a Creative World
“As more humans awaken, the word work is going to disappear from our vocabulary, and perhaps a new word will be created to replace it.” ~ Eckhart Tolle, from The Power of Now. Imagine you are having a team meeting to introduce a new project. Your team leader is in charge of instigating the project, and of course, she wants it to be successful. You and your team are sitting, listening, waiting for instructions on how to proceed. Now imagine the first words that come out of her mouth are, “I want you to work on this project.” Her energy is serious, focused and professional. What would be your initial feeling response? What expectations or images would run through your mind? How would her words […]