Releasing the Need to Be the Responsible One ~ Reclaiming Your Power to Choose, Create and Be Free
The Responsible One is a role we took on at a very young age. It was a heavy coat that we wore to keep us safe, help us survive, prove our self-worth, and make us feel loved. It had a very important role to play at the time. But as we age, the role increasingly weighs us down. It becomes a burden that stifles our power to choose, create, and be the free spirits we innately are. Two Ways We Birth the Responsible One 1. No One But Me At a very young age you decided that you must be the adult in the family. Perhaps your mother died, and you were the oldest sibling, and you felt the need to take on the responsibilities of your deceased mother. Or, you had one or two dysfunctional […]
When You Slow Down Enough
by Vince Gowmon From Wild Empty Spaces ~ Poems for the Opening Heart When you slow down enough you no longer fear the silence of space and all it holds. In embracing stillness you discover that which you never knew existed or was possible, and you meet your Self and life perhaps for the very first time. When you slow down enough you finally feel the feelings and hear the words you have been avoiding all these many years. Those knocks on the door, those peering eyes that have been trying to capture your attention from the shadows, the long lost dream that once carried you away, far away, many moons ago. When you slow down enough you no longer fear your aloneness. You […]
You Will Never Get It All Done! ~ The Illusion of “Getting There”
Indeed it is true. You will never ever reach all you need to do. We have our endless to-do lists, and the continuous spill of emails filling our inbox. And we try so hard to complete it all, only to be disappointed that our plate is being served once again. In continuing to look at what needs to get done, we fail to notice all that we have here and now. The Joy of this Moment. The blessings we have now in our life. We temporarily forget what life is all about. There comes a point where we must say to ourselves, “I accept that I will never ‘get there.’” “I accept that there will always be loose ends to tie.” And thank goodness! What […]
Anger and Truth ~ Reclaiming Your Voice and Life
We play nice and accommodate others. We don’t speak up and say what is really going on for us. We deny our truth, our Voice, and as such, we reach a boiling point. What starts out as irritation soon becomes anger. We cannot play this game anymore. We cannot continue to deny what is real, what is true inside. Maybe you are staying too long in a relationship, or perhaps you are continuously acquiescing to the needs of others. Perhaps you have tolerated someone’s disrespect for too long now, or maybe you are fed up with how you are treating yourself. You’ve had enough! It’s time to step forward and claim your voice, speak with assertiveness, and act with clear conviction! Anger is an excellent […]
Soaring Above Your Challenges ~ The Gift of Metaview
“A small trouble is like a pebble. Hold it too close to your eye and it fills the whole world and puts everything out of focus. Hold it at a proper distance and it can be examined and properly classified. Throw it at your feet and it can bee seen in its true setting, just one more tiny bump on the pathway of life.” ~ Celia Luce It’s easy to allow a challenge to consume our mind, so much so that it blurs our vision and distracts us from what really matters. In those foggy moments imagine you are in a helicopter flying 500 feet above your life circumstance. Look down at your existing problem, and ask yourself: What can I see from up here […]
Asking for Help ~ A Wonderful Way to Give
What if asking for help is an act of giving? It is one of the hardest things to do it seems. In asking for help we are afraid that we might be burdening others, or that our wish will go unanswered leaving us feeling disappointed…again. Or maybe we feel that if we ask for help we will be judged as incompetent, giving our boss reason to not grant us that raise. Or perhaps we don’t want to feel vulnerable, and admit to ourselves that maybe we don’t have all the answers and can’t do it alone. It also doesn’t help when we live in a society that says giving is better than receiving, putting ourselves first is bad or selfish, and we must be strong. […]
Moving Beyond Thought ~ Transcending Thinking & Creating Inner Peace
When something is worrying us, we often try calming our discursive minds by thinking our way out of the problem. If we are concerned whether a new project is going to be successful, for instance, we hash over all the reasons why the project should work. The problem is thinking only leads to more thinking – our worries do not cease, and perhaps only worsen. Moving beyond thinking requires us not to think our way through the worry, but to transcend our minds altogether. There we find the peace and perspective we are looking for. Ways we can do this are: Taking some long, slow deep breaths Meditation or Yoga Doing something fun and creative Being physically active Spending time with family and friends Going into nature […]
The Triple Combo ~ 3 Keys to Creating the Life You Want
“Miracles start to happen when you give as much energy to your dreams as you do to your fears.” ~Richard Wilkins Creating the life you want is a balance of stepping into life and creating room for life to come to you. And it is a decision to let go who you think you “should” be in order to become who you truly are. Here are 3 Keys to Creating the Life You Want. I call them The Triple Combo! 1. Do Your Inner Work Life is not a process of discovery, but rather creation. When we realize that life is not happening to us, but rather is an expression of us, we begin to take greater responsibility for our lot in life and the […]
8 Keys to Self-Care
“Taking good care of you means the people in your life will receive the best of you rather than what is left of you.” ~ Lorraine Cohen. Self-care is an act of putting your Self and well-being first. Below are eight simple ways to practice self-care and create space for rest, simplicity and playtime. 1. Notice Your Energy Be conscious of how you feel. Are you tired, stressed, anxious? Listen to your body, honor its needs, and don’t push yourself beyond what feels comfortable. 2. Write Down Tasks De-clutter your mind and write your to-do list down. This helps to lesson anxiety and create clarity on what needs to be done. 3. Prioritize Tasks Does it really need to be done now? How much stress […]
The Feelings Behind Your Need
A complaint is an unspoken request. We share our needs with others and hope they are met. We may ask someone to help clean the house or complete the project on time. When we ask multiple times and the need is still not met it is natural to complain and feel powerless – asking again for the fourth time isn’t changing anything and yet saying nothing isn’t helping either. What is not being said that needs to be heard? Level 1 ~ Initial Request: When you express a need for first time, not only share what you want done, but say how having it done would make you feel and why it is important to you. “Sharing household duties makes me feel we have an equal […]