Asking for Help ~ A Wonderful Way to Give
What if asking for help is an act of giving? It is one of the hardest things to do it seems. In asking for help we are afraid that we might be burdening others, or that our wish will go unanswered leaving us feeling disappointed…again. Or maybe we feel that if we ask for help we will be judged as incompetent, giving our boss reason to not grant us that raise. Or perhaps we don’t want to feel vulnerable, and admit to ourselves that maybe we don’t have all the answers and can’t do it alone. It also doesn’t help when we live in a society that says giving is better than receiving, putting ourselves first is bad or selfish, and we must be strong. […]
Moving Beyond Thought ~ Transcending Thinking & Creating Inner Peace
When something is worrying us, we often try calming our discursive minds by thinking our way out of the problem. If we are concerned whether a new project is going to be successful, for instance, we hash over all the reasons why the project should work. The problem is thinking only leads to more thinking – our worries do not cease, and perhaps only worsen. Moving beyond thinking requires us not to think our way through the worry, but to transcend our minds altogether. There we find the peace and perspective we are looking for. Ways we can do this are: Taking some long, slow deep breaths Meditation or Yoga Doing something fun and creative Being physically active Spending time with family and friends Going into nature […]
The Triple Combo ~ 3 Keys to Creating the Life You Want
“Miracles start to happen when you give as much energy to your dreams as you do to your fears.” ~Richard Wilkins Creating the life you want is a balance of stepping into life and creating room for life to come to you. And it is a decision to let go who you think you “should” be in order to become who you truly are. Here are 3 Keys to Creating the Life You Want. I call them The Triple Combo! 1. Do Your Inner Work Life is not a process of discovery, but rather creation. When we realize that life is not happening to us, but rather is an expression of us, we begin to take greater responsibility for our lot in life and the […]
8 Keys to Self-Care
“Taking good care of you means the people in your life will receive the best of you rather than what is left of you.” ~ Lorraine Cohen. Self-care is an act of putting your Self and well-being first. Below are eight simple ways to practice self-care and create space for rest, simplicity and playtime. 1. Notice Your Energy Be conscious of how you feel. Are you tired, stressed, anxious? Listen to your body, honor its needs, and don’t push yourself beyond what feels comfortable. 2. Write Down Tasks De-clutter your mind and write your to-do list down. This helps to lesson anxiety and create clarity on what needs to be done. 3. Prioritize Tasks Does it really need to be done now? How much stress […]
The Feelings Behind Your Need
A complaint is an unspoken request. We share our needs with others and hope they are met. We may ask someone to help clean the house or complete the project on time. When we ask multiple times and the need is still not met it is natural to complain and feel powerless – asking again for the fourth time isn’t changing anything and yet saying nothing isn’t helping either. What is not being said that needs to be heard? Level 1 ~ Initial Request: When you express a need for first time, not only share what you want done, but say how having it done would make you feel and why it is important to you. “Sharing household duties makes me feel we have an equal […]
4 Levels of Family Care
“Never let the urgent crowd out the important.” ~ Kelly Catlin Walker. Families that play together, stay together. It is easy to get lost in the responsibilities of family life and forget self-care and play time. Here are four levels of family care to consider: 1. Self-care: Time for you to play and relax on your own, or with friends or people outside your home life. 2. Partner-Care: Time for your partner to play and relax on his own, or spend time with people outside the home. Action step: Make a list of things you would love to do for yourself and then share this list with each other. Discuss how to support one another to experience self-care regularly (ie, prioritizing, scheduling, sharing duties, asking […]
Scheduling Time to Play
An Interview with the Caregiver Times ~ A Newsletter for People Who Are Caring for Family and Friends. SG: From your perspective as a life coach, how important is play and what role can play have in the lives of family caregivers? VG: Unfortunately, play can easily get set aside. Play is something we think is for children and not for us adults, but it’s actually something we need to make a priority and keep it in the forefront of our minds. Continue reading here… * * * Related Training: Remembering to Play ~ Inspiring Joy, Freedom & Self-Care Cultivating Intuition ~ The Heart of Healthy & Productive Decision Making Keynote information Related Reading: Flour Play […]
15 Ways to Say No
“There is a difference between being self-centred, and centred in the Self.” ~ Lynda Austin. For many, saying No is a challenging task. We have been brought up to believe that putting ourselves first is bad, selfish or wrong. Yet when the oxygen mask drops on the airplane, who do you put it on first, you or your child? Making onenself a priority is essential to healthy, happy and productive living. To do this, we may have to say No to certain people who could redirect us from listening to our own needs and practicing self-care. 15 simple ways to say No: That won’t work for me. That doesn’t resonate/feel right. I feel I need to take time for me right now. My body really […]
15 Ways to Express Needs & Desires
“There is a difference between being self-centred and centred in the Self.” ~ Lynda Austin We have been trained not to ask for what we want. We will bend ourselves backwards, deny our feelings, and burn ourselves out all to avoid stating our needs. Our social conditioning, and specifically our inner Saboteur, holds us back by stating that putting ourselves first is selfish or wrong, or that we should always give to others first. And yet, we cannot give away what we don’t have. In other words, we must learn to give to ourselves first, fill our own cup so to speak, before we can feed others. “Everything we want is on the other side of fear.” ~ Farrah Gray Our social conditioning is based in fear. The […]
Selfishness & Life Balance ~ The Path to Self-Care
When we think of life balance we imagine having more time for ourselves, taking better care of our health and spending more time with loved ones. Often when we struggle to create more room for what we want externally it is because it’s in direct conflict with who we think we “should” be, or what we think we “ought” to be doing. What is wanted externally conflicts with internal beliefs and expectations. One of the most common beliefs that impede that path towards balance is that being selfish is bad or wrong. People grow up in an environment where the very thought of putting yourself first is completely unacceptable. It is ingrained that value and self-worth comes from being productive and putting others first. People […]