Reclaiming Deservedness and Desire ~ Using Relationships to Heal Your Fear of Asking for What You Want
“Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love.” ~ Rainer Maria Rilke As a child, Adam did not have many of his emotional and physical needs met by his mother. Basic needs such as listening and affection were hardly honored. Naturally, over time, Adam believed that his needs and desires were of no value. Anger and hopelessness filled his vulnerable being, and in an act of self-preservation he gave up asking all together. Continuing to believe that he could have his needs met was just too painful to bear. It was easier to just […]
The Courage to Speak Your Truth ~ 5 Steps to Reclaiming Your Voice
“Living with integrity means: Not settling for less than what you know you deserve in your relationships. Asking for what you want and need from others. Speaking your truth, even though it might create conflict or tension. Behaving in ways that are in harmony with your personal values. Making choices based on what you believe, and not what others believe.” ~ Barbara De Angelis This may be you… At some point in your life you made the decision that it was no longer safe to speak your truth. In your early years, speaking up led to a scolding from your parents, or worse. Their censure caused pain and engendered a belief in you that speaking up would create even more pain. This belief compelled you […]
Don’t Deflate Your Dreams
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission […]
Releasing the Need to Be the Responsible One ~ Reclaiming Your Power to Choose, Create and Be Free
The Responsible One is a role we took on at a very young age. It was a heavy coat that we wore to keep us safe, help us survive, prove our self-worth, and make us feel loved. It had a very important role to play at the time. But as we age, the role increasingly weighs us down. It becomes a burden that stifles our power to choose, create, and be the free spirits we innately are. Two Ways We Birth the Responsible One 1. No One But Me At a very young age you decided that you must be the adult in the family. Perhaps your mother died, and you were the oldest sibling, and you felt the need to take on the responsibilities of your deceased mother. Or, you had one or two dysfunctional […]
When You Slow Down Enough
by Vince Gowmon From Wild Empty Spaces ~ Poems for the Opening Heart When you slow down enough you no longer fear the silence of space and all it holds. In embracing stillness you discover that which you never knew existed or was possible, and you meet your Self and life perhaps for the very first time. When you slow down enough you finally feel the feelings and hear the words you have been avoiding all these many years. Those knocks on the door, those peering eyes that have been trying to capture your attention from the shadows, the long lost dream that once carried you away, far away, many moons ago. When you slow down enough you no longer fear your aloneness. You […]
You Will Never Get It All Done! ~ The Illusion of “Getting There”
Indeed it is true. You will never ever reach all you need to do. We have our endless to-do lists, and the continuous spill of emails filling our inbox. And we try so hard to complete it all, only to be disappointed that our plate is being served once again. In continuing to look at what needs to get done, we fail to notice all that we have here and now. The Joy of this Moment. The blessings we have now in our life. We temporarily forget what life is all about. There comes a point where we must say to ourselves, “I accept that I will never ‘get there.’” “I accept that there will always be loose ends to tie.” And thank goodness! What […]
Anger and Truth ~ Reclaiming Your Voice and Life
We play nice and accommodate others. We don’t speak up and say what is really going on for us. We deny our truth, our Voice, and as such, we reach a boiling point. What starts out as irritation soon becomes anger. We cannot play this game anymore. We cannot continue to deny what is real, what is true inside. Maybe you are staying too long in a relationship, or perhaps you are continuously acquiescing to the needs of others. Perhaps you have tolerated someone’s disrespect for too long now, or maybe you are fed up with how you are treating yourself. You’ve had enough! It’s time to step forward and claim your voice, speak with assertiveness, and act with clear conviction! Anger is an excellent […]
Soaring Above Your Challenges ~ The Gift of Metaview
“A small trouble is like a pebble. Hold it too close to your eye and it fills the whole world and puts everything out of focus. Hold it at a proper distance and it can be examined and properly classified. Throw it at your feet and it can bee seen in its true setting, just one more tiny bump on the pathway of life.” ~ Celia Luce It’s easy to allow a challenge to consume our mind, so much so that it blurs our vision and distracts us from what really matters. In those foggy moments imagine you are in a helicopter flying 500 feet above your life circumstance. Look down at your existing problem, and ask yourself: What can I see from up here […]
Asking for Help ~ A Wonderful Way to Give
What if asking for help is an act of giving? It is one of the hardest things to do it seems. In asking for help we are afraid that we might be burdening others, or that our wish will go unanswered leaving us feeling disappointed…again. Or maybe we feel that if we ask for help we will be judged as incompetent, giving our boss reason to not grant us that raise. Or perhaps we don’t want to feel vulnerable, and admit to ourselves that maybe we don’t have all the answers and can’t do it alone. It also doesn’t help when we live in a society that says giving is better than receiving, putting ourselves first is bad or selfish, and we must be strong. […]
Moving Beyond Thought ~ Transcending Thinking & Creating Inner Peace
When something is worrying us, we often try calming our discursive minds by thinking our way out of the problem. If we are concerned whether a new project is going to be successful, for instance, we hash over all the reasons why the project should work. The problem is thinking only leads to more thinking – our worries do not cease, and perhaps only worsen. Moving beyond thinking requires us not to think our way through the worry, but to transcend our minds altogether. There we find the peace and perspective we are looking for. Ways we can do this are: Taking some long, slow deep breaths Meditation or Yoga Doing something fun and creative Being physically active Spending time with family and friends Going into nature […]