Relaxation and Trust are Two Sides of the Same Coin. Both Lead us Back to Love.
It’s not easy to relax. The individualistic, hectic, consumerist Western world makes this so. There are bills to pay, mouths to feed, kids to shuffle, classes to attend and homes to clean. Our lives, as they say in Britain, are “chock-a-block”—cluttered, making quiet time for us a precious rarity. Looking closer, however, we can see that core to the issue is not busy schedules, but rather our inability to trust. Can we trust others to help us; to do the bookkeeping accurately, clean the kitchen, ensure the children have the proper food in their lunchbox? Perhaps our spouse and co-workers have let us down before making it difficult to trust them, and thus relax. Or maybe we still need them to do it our way […]
Leading from Truth, Not Obligation ~ Finding Clarity in the Body
“To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders.” ~ Lao Tzu The weight of obligation can be a real burden sometimes, especially when there are two opposing “shoulds” pulling at us simultaneously. The temptation may be to work out the dilemma with our mind by analyzing details, weighing pros and cons, evaluating collective impact, etc. Yet doing so may only lead us further into a schizophrenic state of confusion and stress. Thinking may only lead to more thinking and indecisiveness. Hence, the saying, analysis paralysis. A client of mine was recently in such a quandary. Her uncle had just passed away, and she so desperately wanted to drive south (12 hours) to support her grief-stricken father. And, of course, she wanted to attend […]
Transcending the Illusion of Success ~ Thriving in Heart-felt and Hard-won Truth
“It takes courage to endure the sharp pains of self-discovery, rather than choose to take the dull pain of unconsciousness that would last the rest of our lives.” ~ Marianne Williamson I can hear my mother’s concerned voice now: “Vincent, how is your business going? Is everything okay?” My mother loves me dearly, and like many moms, she worries about her child, perhaps more than other moms do because of where I came from, and how I have chosen to travel a highly unconventional route. It wasn’t long ago that I was living below the poverty line for four years, desperately holding onto a dream that was slowly slipping from my grasp. I knew I wanted to be a speaker—to travel, leading groups deeper into […]
Remembering the Soulfulness of Play ~ Trusting the Intelligence of Play to Raise a Child
I wonder… “Wisdom begins in wonder.” ~ Socrates “I wonder”—two of my favorite words. Despite loving the luscious openness of the inquiry, I’m not always good at wondering. Sometimes I get stuck gazing through a fixed lens, trapped in myopia, thinking I know what’s right when really I can’t possibly know. The gift of wonder is that it invites me to soften my tired focused eyes for a moment, exhale and open. It is a resting space between my litany of beliefs and opinions where I can swim free like a child in seas of unchartered possibilities. It is the unraveling of my clenched working-mind, a limen into the mysterious that no thought can lead me to. For these reasons, wonder is not easy. The […]
How Trusting Intuition Saved One Boy’s Life ~ The Power and Mystery of Living from the Still Small Voice Within
“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honours the servant and has forgotten the gift.” ~ Albert Einstein A few weeks ago I was presenting an intuition playshop to a group of 40 child care workers at a conference. One of the activities required participants to walk up to different people and share whatever intuitive insights they may have for them. What was shared was to be seen as a gift that may serve the receiver in some way. The insight could be a word, phrase, color, image, feeling etc. One of the participants, Katharine, offered, “blue car” to someone named Carol. As the words came to Katharine’s mind and were […]
Let Children Play and they Remain in a State of Flow ~ They Move with the Intelligence of Life
Letting children play allows them to remain in a state of flow. This is incredibly vital given that flow is the natural state of life. Nature does not force, rather it moves as a young child moves, instinctually, with the intelligence of the whole guiding it through quiet whispers and nudges. It simply knows, in the same our heart knows; it knows without knowing how it knows. When children give themselves over to their play, and specifically unstructured play, they move as a river does, as the heart does, moment-to-moment, fluid and free. It is within this natural state that they stay connected to their inner whispers and nudges, the ancient impulses of life that breathe into their hand as they doodle, into their thoughts […]
6 Keys to Walking the Creative Path ~ Overcoming the Illusion of Perfection
“Creativity is inventing, experimenting, growing, taking risks, breaking rules, making mistakes and having fun.” ~ Mary Lou Cook There are many excuses, or stories, we use to postpone what wants to emerge from us and take shape in the world: my creative offerings need to look / sound a certain way; people need to like them, like me; no one will purchase any; I can’t make a living from it; I don’t have time; I need to study more; my offerings need to create aha moments, invite transformation; they need to change the world! They need to be perfect! Because so many of us have drown our creative instincts in self-judgment, it can take a great deal of self-awareness to recognize our limiting stories; and […]
Hold the Agenda of Others ~ A Practice of the Heart
What if for one day you allowed everyone to be as they are? My recent article, 4 Reasons Not to Fix or Solve People’s Problems, was so well received that I wanted to offer a follow-up article that expanded on the topic, while offering some practical tools. The tools are intended to support you to practice the principles outlined so that you may free yourself from the need to be responsible for other’s challenges or general circumstances. The practice is simple, but not necessarily easy: Where possible, practice not having an agenda for others. Note that I wrote “Where possible”. I am fully aware that there are many places where we do need to have an agenda; for instance, if you are parenting, teaching or […]
Letting the Body Lead ~ Trusting the Movements of our Inner Wisdom
When it comes to designing my playshops, I can be a real procrastinator; or so it would seem to my mind. Leading up to the event, my mind will say many times, “You need to get going! You won’t have enough time to do it all!” But despite its admonitions, I still don’t move. I stay on the couch, or seated on a log in the forest, or doing anything but designing my events. And then one day, I just suddenly start doing it. I know in my heart that it is time. My heart moves me, my body, without much thought. And as always, I have more than enough time (and the participants love the playshop!). It would seem our mind knows what is […]
Liberating Yourself and Others from the Need to Agree ~ Entering the Dance of Connection
One of the most beautiful things we can experience is a connection with another person. Being able to connect is a gift in that it gives each person the opportunity to safely open and share their authentic feelings, desires and concerns. However, often when one person meets another with an agenda, the connection is broken because he is no longer open to what the other has to say. He is not meeting her in her reality, but rather attempting to align her with his own. To align without agreement is to communicate, “I don’t agree with you, and I am still with you.” I am here for you and with you, and I am willing to open to your world even if I am not […]