Take Your Childhood Adversity Seriously & You Take a Stand for and Love Your Inner Child

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Take Your Childhood Adversity Seriously & You Take a Stand for and Love Your Inner Child

The cradle of love is the cradle of belonging, the beginning and the end, and everything in-between, from which a child grows and to which s/he returns, nourished, held, forever bathed by the unspoken. The healing journey asks that we take seriously the confronting truths of our childhood adversity, which is not easy. Owning the raw, uncompromised truth of what happened surfaces unexpected emotions and sensations, such as anger, sadness, shame and pain — feelings we learned were not safe to feel, and that most people in our disembodied world have no interest in accommodating.  These are the feelings we had to keep at bay to survive the harsh realities of our childhood. Suppress the feelings and we suppress the truth that mom was neglectful, […]

Honouring & Loving the Soulfulness of Children into Being

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Honouring & Loving the Soulfulness of Children into Being

When the raising of children  moves with the rhythms of their soul  and Mother Earth  then we will have woken up.  Nothing rushed,  nothing forced,  just enough structure to  allow what wants to unfold  to happen in its sweet soulful time,  trusting and honouring divine order,  the higher nature and agenda  of the child,  and that of life.  While looking at children from our physical eyes, let’s also remember to see our little wonders from the eyes of our soul.  What might we discover, and remember, if we did? Perceiving from our physical eyes we delight in their bright smile and twinkling eyes. We cherish their playful exuberance — their sudden spiral twists and cartwheel turns, and mud puddle stomping explorations; we savour their latest […]

Evolving from “Early Childhood Education” to Early Childhood Attachment and Outdoor Play

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Evolving from “Early Childhood Education” to Early Childhood Attachment and Outdoor Play

When education and the raising of children aligns with the rhythms and cycles of Mother Nature, then we will have woken up. Nothing rushed, nothing forced, just enough structure to allow for what wants to unfold to happen in its sweet soulful time, trusting and respecting due order, the higher agenda of the child, and that of Life. We are speaking of a complete reorganization of society’s principles and values, such that we return to living in nature, as nature itself. What we call “early childhood education” is only a recent phenomenon in Western culture. Prior to the last 100 years, children learned through the natural impulses of exploration and engaging with family and friends. Their education was often outside, self-directed through unstructured, unsupervised play, […]

Healing Your Inner Star Child and Liberating the Innocence and Power of Your Soul Star Essence

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Healing Your Inner Star Child and Liberating the Innocence and Power of Your Soul Star Essence

“The nitrogen in our DNA, the calcium in our teeth, the iron in our blood, the carbon in our apple pies were made in the interiors of collapsing stars. We are made of starstuff.” ― Carl Sagan, Cosmos We are all children of God, the Universe, Christ, Buddha Consciousness, Brahman, whatever feels right to you. And each of us has what I call a soul star essence; for, we are, along with everything else, made of stardust! Hydrogen, nitrogen, your computer and clothes, everything is made from this magical and primordial Source! Knowing, embracing and shining our star nature is essential to our fulfillment, to realizing our soul purpose. And healing our inner star child is a big part of that.  Disconnection from divinity The root of all […]

“If I lose the pain, I’ll lose the love.” ~ The Double Bind Nature of Trauma Bonds

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“If I lose the pain, I’ll lose the love.” ~ The Double Bind Nature of Trauma Bonds

“People have two needs: Attachment and authenticity. When authenticity threatens attachment, attachment trumps authenticity.” ~ Dr. Gabor Mate The child who endures abuse from a parent is stuck in an impossible bind. If he pushes away, he loses the parent. If he doesn’t, he endures the abuse. Children generally choose attachment over authenticity. It is a biological imperative to do so that comes from many generations of living in tribal societies where our life depended on being in connection with our community; from being dependent on one another for survival. If that bond was to break and we were outcasted, abandoned, it could mean our life. Attachment is also biologically wired into us because we need our parents, especially our mother, for nurturing and survival. […]

The Therapeutic Power of Play to Heal Shame in Children

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The Therapeutic Power of Play to Heal Shame in Children

The nature of shame is to hide. It keeps pain hidden, the dark corners of our psyche concealed from the masses, too unbearable to share with others, too unbearable to be seen. Look at people with tremendous shame and their head tilts down, their eyes avert contact. Many even have a hard time looking straight into a camera. They must look away. The pain of shame and blame runs that deep.  Children are, of course, not immune to shame. Raised in abusive, neglectful, toxic environments, shame inevitably buries into their psychophysiology. Beliefs such as “I am wrong”, “I am bad”, “It’s my fault” are common amongst children who experience chronic failures in love; who grow up not feeling emotionally or physically safe; who come to […]

A Love Whose Time Has Come ~ Healing the Disembodied Human and Our Ravaged Planet

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A Love Whose Time Has Come ~ Healing the Disembodied Human and Our Ravaged Planet

“A person suffers if he or she is constantly being forced into the statistical mentality and away from the road of feeling.“ ~ Robert Bly We are a disembodied species, deprived of the weighted feeling of being in touch with our senses, attuned to the murmurings of our heart, the pleasures, ecstatic and intimate, that go with rootedness. We have lost touch with the once innate feeling of connectivity to strangers, the delight in a butterfly, the awe when struck by the glowing moon’s presence. We have squandered the feeling worlds of imagination and creativity born in pause and even boredom.  And we’ve lost touch with the inborn capacity to feel profound sadness and anger, fear and pain, to be unbridled in our emotional expression, […]

12 Questions Kids Need and Long to Hear ~ The Consent of Inquiry and How it Cultivates Self-esteem, Trust and Respect

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12 Questions Kids Need and Long to Hear ~ The Consent of Inquiry and How it Cultivates Self-esteem, Trust and Respect

“Trust children. Nothing could be more simple, or more difficult. Difficult because to trust children we must first learn to trust ourselves, and most of us were taught as children that we could not be trusted.” ~ John Holt 12 Questions (Scroll to the bottom for 6 follow-up questions) What do you want? What do you need? What do you feel / think? How do you feel (about that)? What does your heart / intuition / gut say? What feels right / true to you? What brings you joy? What’s your dream? What would feel like fun? What would you love to do? What matters to you? What do you hope for? Jack’s story “One major study of 700 preschool classrooms in 11 states found […]

Healing and Self-Love: The Courage to No Longer Diminish the Truth of Our Childhood Adversity

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Healing and Self-Love: The Courage to No Longer Diminish the Truth of Our Childhood Adversity

Listed at the bottom are 26 examples of adverse experiences you may have diminished in order to cope and survive. I’ve also included a short video to add further context.  There’s a saying: “Love is a place we go when we no longer wish to hide.” The same is true with healing. Because healing is seeing and feeling something for what it is, without diminishment, which is an act of self-love.  Healing occurs when we no longer diminish our childhood adversity — both what happened (verbal and physical abuse, for example) and what didn’t happen that we desperately needed (affection, for example). It occurs when we own the magnitude of the environmental failures endured.  We own the stark reality that our older brother beat us, […]

COVID-19: A Call to Wake from the Perennial Dream of “Normal”

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COVID-19: A Call to Wake from the Perennial Dream of “Normal”

When the world pushes you to your knees you are in the perfect position to pray.   ~ Jalaluddin Rumi    In times like this, with the world besieged by outright panic and high levels of uncertainty, the words of ancient wisdom keepers, such as Sufi poet Jalaluddin Rumi, resonate loudest. Now is a good time to take in the sages whose words have so often fallen on deaf ears. Indeed, with growing fear and a collapse of global infrastructure—sporting events, conferences, schools, businesses, etc.—collectively, we are being brought to our knees. The slowing and stoppages bestow a rare opportunity to see/consider something we cannot when lost in the busyness of everyday living; when upright in our usual stance. We are being forced to uncover […]