When Children Believe “I Am Wrong”: The Impact Developmental Trauma Has on Belief Systems and Identity

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When Children Believe “I Am Wrong”: The Impact Developmental Trauma Has on Belief Systems and Identity

“In the past decade, mental health visits to the emergency room have jumped 66 per cent, and hospitalizations for conditions such as depression, anxiety and eating disorders are up 55 per cent. Meanwhile, the waits for psychological and psychiatric care are months and even years…. According to the new report, one in three adults have suffered from physical or sexual abuse before the age of 16. Two-thirds of them never told anyone.” ~ Andre Picard, The Globe and Mail, September 4, 2018  “Childhood trauma leaves scars that are genetic, not just emotional, study affirms… Neglect, abuse, violence and trauma endured early in life can ripple directly into a child’s molecular structure and distort their DNA, according to a new study this week from the University […]

Surrendering to the Business of Life

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Surrendering to the Business of Life

Surrender, and you’ll find that the real Business of Life does not lie in your hands, but in the hands of Life. There’s a time when learning the tricks of business development is important; when it’s wise to set a few goals, create a vision, set up a website and social media presence, and learn strategies from those more experienced in commercial enterprise. And then there’s a time when the rules of business must be set aside, for now you hear Life calling you more clearly, more urgently than ever, saying, “You’re ready. You’re working for us now. That period of your life is over!” Entwined in these words is a recognition that you’ve done the work. You have, through years of deep self-reflection, healing and many […]

Your Fears and Beliefs Create the Edges of a Child’s Playground, and Your Own

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Your Fears and Beliefs Create the Edges of a Child’s Playground, and Your Own

“A ship in port is safe, but that’s not what ships are made for.” ~ Grace Murray Hopper  Child safety has become obsessive in our society. Children are being controlled to the point of having their natural play-spaces and freedom ripped away from them at an alarming rate. For instance: “…nearly 20 homes on Esgore Drive, in (Toronto), were threatened with $90 fines from the city if they did not remove hockey and basketball nets from their street in the next 20 days.” The article goes on to say that, “A bylaw… states that ‘no person shall play or take part in any game or sport upon a roadway and, where there are sidewalks, no person upon roller-skates, in-line skates or a skateboard, or riding in […]

A Complaint is an Unspoken Request ~ Practical Keys to Asking for What You Want

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A Complaint is an Unspoken Request ~ Practical Keys to Asking for What You Want

A woman complained for years that her husband did not give her an anniversary card. One day a friend inquired if she had ever asked for one, and she said no. And so the woman mustered up the will to ask and from that point onwards her husband always gave her an anniversary card. A simple story, a true one, and one full of meaning. If only we’d just ask! A complaint is an unspoken request. Otherwise said, when we don’t ask for what we want we tend to complain about our needs not getting met. Given how much humans love to complain, we can safely say that asking for what we want is not easy. And why should it be? It’s vulnerable to put […]

We Pine for Fridays Because We Live Separate from Ourselves and Life

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We Pine for Fridays Because We Live Separate from Ourselves and Life

The act of throwing ourselves to the pavement and into a frenzy because, at long last, we’ve reached Friday is outdated and needs ending. This myopia says much about the maturity of Western society, and how much we compartmentalize our lives, separate ourselves from joy, family, friends, nature, our gifts, values, intuition, a deeper calling, and much more.   Personally, I am glad I no longer crave Friday nights, nor loathe Monday mornings. I am grateful I cannot separate work from play, professional from personal, and that I continuously fail to know if it is a statutory holiday. Each day unfolds into the next as though it is one continuous movement that cannot be broken down into fragments that split me apart, leaving bits of me shattered and […]

Attention Spiritual People! Money Isn’t Bad. Try Learning to Love it.

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Attention Spiritual People! Money Isn’t Bad. Try Learning to Love it.

There are many so-called “spiritual people” (as if certain people are spiritual and others are not) who claim that money is bad. Tell me, is a hammer bad? Money is simply a tool. If a father builds a tree fort for his child we love the hammer (we know how men love their tools!). But if someone attacks someone with a hammer does that make the hammer bad? Money isn’t the problem; rather, it is our use of it, the consciousness of those who wield it that creates the problems and suffering. Those who judge money, who claim it to be the “root of all evil”, most likely have no idea what it is like to live in poverty. I do. I lived below the […]

Is it the Truth? ~ Question Your Beliefs and Expand Possibilities

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Is it the Truth? ~ Question Your Beliefs and Expand Possibilities

“Argue for your limitations and sure enough they are yours.” ~ Richard Bach Our beliefs define what is possible for us. They act as a lens through which we view and relate to the world. Our beliefs write manuals, curriculum and the news. They mark papers, define job descriptions, design policies and procedures, and outline meeting agendas. They decide how we should behave, what kind of person would make a good partner, and what really matters in the world. They determine what is right or wrong, good or bad based on what we experienced in the past. If we believe that silliness or messiness is bad, or that there is a “right” way to conduct business according to company policies, there is a good chance […]

You Will Never Get It All Done! ~ The Illusion of “Getting There”

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You Will Never Get It All Done! ~ The Illusion of “Getting There”

Indeed it is true. You will never ever reach all you need to do.  We have our endless to-do lists, and the continuous spill of emails filling our inbox. And we try so hard to complete it all, only to be disappointed that our plate is being served once again. In continuing to look at what needs to get done, we fail to notice all that we have here and now. The Joy of this Moment. The blessings we have now in our life. We temporarily forget what life is all about. There comes a point where we must say to ourselves, “I accept that I will never ‘get there.’” “I accept that there will always be loose ends to tie.”  And thank goodness! What […]

Claiming Your Creativity ~ 5 Actions & Mindsets for the Creative Path

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Claiming Your Creativity ~ 5 Actions & Mindsets for the Creative Path

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.” ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe One of the common ways we […]

5 Assumptions for Non-Judgmental Living ~ A Personal Challenge

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5 Assumptions for Non-Judgmental Living ~ A Personal Challenge

“When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.” ~ Dr. Wayne Dyer We hear it all the time – don’t judge others. Yet living a non-judgmental life is not easy. We are judging machines, conditioned from birth to see through the lens of limitation. Here are two specific reasons why we judge: 1. When we judge others, we judge ourselves: The essence of judgment arises from a place of judging ourselves. When we are told at a young age that it is inappropriate to be __________ (such as angry), or not to be ____________ (such as silly), on some level we make these aspects bad or wrong. We then grow up projecting this idea onto others. If we see someone being angry […]