The Darkening World Needs Less of Your Fight and More of Your Light

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The Darkening World Needs Less of Your Fight and More of Your Light

“You cannot change the world. You can only allow it to be changed through you.” ~ Lynda Austin As the darkness of this troubling world only gets darker, the old mechanisms you’ve dedicatedly hung your hat on may no longer work or be enough to be the change agents our world needs. While helpful and necessary, it won’t be enough to simply advocate for change, to protest with your impassioned speeches, to spread your important messages on social media. It won’t be enough to continue pushing and fighting in the way you always have in your community, in your vocation. Certainly not without an imperative inner shift. Something more is needed of us now that is far from personal, and beyond our understanding. Only light […]

Yes he’s a Bigot, but Trump’s a Powerful Mirror Inviting Deeper Change

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Yes he’s a Bigot, but Trump’s a Powerful Mirror Inviting Deeper Change

Bigot. Racist. Misogynist. Xenophobe. Donald Trump is the poster child for these shadowy human characteristics, and obviously should not be the next President of the United States. It is frightening to consider this belligerent man “holding the codes” and “hovering his hand over the red button.” He deserves every ounce of concern, outrage and condemnation projected his way. But our rightful finger waving and detest is not where the story ends. In fact, it is only the beginning. Trump may just be one of the most devilishly packaged gifts mankind has been given. Yet, if we cannot unravel ourselves from our disdain and chastisement, we may not sense the larger opportunity he affords the US, and beyond. Our spell of myopia may entrap us as […]

Choosing Heart and Life Amongst the Busyness of Things

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Choosing Heart and Life Amongst the Busyness of Things

“The cities, the roads, the countryside, the people I meet—they all begin to blur. I tell myself I am searching for something. But more and more, it feels like I am wandering, waiting for something to happen to me, something that will change everything, something that my whole life has been leading up to.” ~ Khaled Hosseini—And the Mountains Echoed Her voice spoke with urgency. A pressing need to accomplish a number of tasks and build new ventures prompted this coaching client to hire me. During our initial session, she shared with such a clip that it was hard to truly feel and thus hear her. The buzz of words was like a lightening storm surrounding and protecting something that felt like a quiet, deep agenda […]

Why Kids Need to Question, Not Conform ~ Unleashing Creativity and the Rascal Within

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Why Kids Need to Question, Not Conform ~ Unleashing Creativity and the Rascal Within

“Creativity is an act of defiance.” ~ Twyla Tharp My mother will tell you that when I was a child I asked “Why?” a lot. My inquisitive nature was more than just a simple childlike curiosity, though. I was provocative, bent on challenging the facts of life, eager to question conventional thought and practice. Like many kids, there was a little rascal in me who wanted to be different, have a voice, and say No. Little did I, or my mother, realize that this rascal had a larger purpose—to forge a path that brings new thought and possibilities into the world. Questioning is a natural and necessary part of any change process. Asking “Why?”, wondering, imagining, dreaming new dreams, engaging in healthy open discussions, and […]

“Up Until Now…” ~ Redesigning Needs and Expectations in Relationships

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“Up Until Now…” ~ Redesigning Needs and Expectations in Relationships

My client Sandy recently shared how she was tired of listening to and solving her friend Andrew’s problems. A pattern had been created in the friendship where Andrew would regularly vent to Sandy, and she would go into fixing mode. Sandy knew her part in the ongoing scenario—she took responsibility for her need to care-take Andrew; she understood that she was creating expectations in the relationship that she would solve his problems, and that it was okay for him to keep acting like a victim with her. Sandy and I spoke about how helping through fixing and advising was generally futile. It so often served to enable rather than empower. For Andrew to create lasting positive change in his life, the solutions to his problems had to […]

Children Are Here to Help Us Birth a New World

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Children Are Here to Help Us Birth a New World

“When you are born into a world where you don’t fit in, it’s because you were born to help create a new one.” ~ Unknown One day, years ago, while walking down the street, I suddenly had an insight that was as clear and bright as the vast blue sky above me: Children are here to help us birth a new world. This thought made me feel incredibly excited! It encapsulated so much of what I had been teaching up to that point, and at the same time, it took all my understanding to a whole new level by making me realize more clearly the critical role children have in advancing the evolution of humanity. Children are not here to create the same things we have created. “Don’t limit a child […]

Embracing the Space Between ~ Falling Into a Sea of Possibilities

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Embracing the Space Between ~ Falling Into a Sea of Possibilities

Everything you want is in the space between. When you embrace the emptiness of space, you fall into the fullness of space, and all it holds for you. It is often without our choosing that we are forced into the space between. Maybe we have lost a job, or a relationship, or the dream we have held so long. But in what appears to be nothing but an empty space, when embraced, lies a universe of possibilities greater than the plans we’ve conjured up. What if emptiness was productive? Opportunistic? It doesn’t sound so, and certainly it goes against all our upbringing and the values of our society to believe so. But what if by allowing things to sit, to simmer, we discover what we […]

Welcoming Change ~ 3 Ways to Respond to Uncertainty

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Welcoming Change ~ 3 Ways to Respond to Uncertainty

Change is not easy. We are forced to leave the familiar and venture into the unknown. We’re not clear where we are going, how we will get there, and if we’ll be ok. But whether we like it or not, slowly we are being pulled into the unchartered. There are three ways we tend to respond when faced with the inexorable pull of change: 1. Force: We make rash decisions and anxiously push our way through. We want it to be over with. 2. Denial: We act passively, pretending change is not happening, even though we know it is. 3. Acceptance: We lead from our belly, acting as a conscious participant, and accepting the truth of the situation no matter how uncomfortable it feels. In […]

Anger and Truth ~ Reclaiming Your Voice and Life

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Anger and Truth ~ Reclaiming Your Voice and Life

We play nice and accommodate others. We don’t speak up and say what is really going on for us. We deny our truth, our Voice, and as such, we reach a boiling point. What starts out as irritation soon becomes anger. We cannot play this game anymore. We cannot continue to deny what is real, what is true inside. Maybe you are staying too long in a relationship, or perhaps you are continuously acquiescing to the needs of others. Perhaps you have tolerated someone’s disrespect for too long now, or maybe you are fed up with how you are treating yourself. You’ve had enough!  It’s time to step forward and claim your voice, speak with assertiveness, and act with clear conviction! Anger is an excellent […]

From Victim to Leader

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From Victim to Leader

Think back to a time when you felt someone had done you wrong, a time you felt victimized in some way. Perhaps it was at work – someone was always late, or speaking to you with disrespect. Or maybe it was at home – you were the one always doing the household duties; the responsibilities were not equally shared. While it is easy to point at others and blame, it is more empowering to point within. We move from victim to leader when we own our role in any conflict. Instead of blaming the other, we look for what we can do differently to change things. Maybe you: Let someone know what your expectations are Tell someone how you feel about the way they speak […]