2 Questions to Transform Conflict into Empowerment
“Living with integrity means: Not settling for less than what you know you deserve in your relationships. Asking for what you want and need from others. Speaking your truth, even though it might create conflict or tension. Behaving in ways that are in harmony with your personal values. Making choices based on what you believe, and not what others believe.” ~ Barbara De Angelis In any relationship system (romance, family, friends, teams, communities), it is inevitable that buttons are pushed, and conflicts arise. Perhaps we are triggered by how someone speaks to us, or we withhold from sharing our feelings and ideas due to fear of rejection. Relationship systems are bound to make us feel unsettled. But that is exactly their purpose. They serve to rattle […]
It’s Time to Be the Leader You Are Waiting For ~ Step into Your Self, Dreams and Life!
“It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.” ~Alan Cohen There comes a point when the life we are living is no longer enough. It is no longer feeding our soul, or representative of who we are and the values we hold. While this recognition can feel daunting, it is a moment in life that is ripe with opportunity. Because by recognizing and accepting it, we begin the process of opening to something greater. By traversing these crossroads, we start to truly live our life, […]
4 Criteria for Teaching and Learning ~ Empowering Both Teacher and Student
In my playshops with teachers we have regular conversations about what structures support and limit education. We discuss how certain structures, that we think need to be put in place, may in fact get in the way of a child’s learning and development. Education is ongoing balance between structure and flow. Too much structure and we stifle the child’s creative spirit and capacity to make decisions for herself. Too much flow and there may not be a container, and enough guidance or safety. It is my personal opinion that for teaching and learning to thrive, any structure used should meet the following four criteria: Does it support the child’s safety? Does it support the child’s academic development? Does it support the child’s creativity and imagination? Does it support the child’s self-esteem and empowerment, including her capacity to be self-directed? […]
Soaring Above Your Challenges ~ The Gift of Metaview
“A small trouble is like a pebble. Hold it too close to your eye and it fills the whole world and puts everything out of focus. Hold it at a proper distance and it can be examined and properly classified. Throw it at your feet and it can bee seen in its true setting, just one more tiny bump on the pathway of life.” ~ Celia Luce It’s easy to allow a challenge to consume our mind, so much so that it blurs our vision and distracts us from what really matters. In those foggy moments imagine you are in a helicopter flying 500 feet above your life circumstance. Look down at your existing problem, and ask yourself: What can I see from up here […]
Your Real Power ~ Redefining Power Through Play
“We are powerful beyond measure, and so deeply vulnerable at the same time. This may seem like a dichotomy, but it isn’t. We have misunderstood real power. It has been something assertive, non-surrendering, pushing on through. This is not real power. This is simply willfulness. Real power is something else- receptivity, openness, the courage to keep your heart open on the darkest of days, the strength to feel it all even when the odds are stacked against you. Real power is showing up with your heart on your sleeve and absolutely refusing to waste one moment of your life hidden behind edginess and armour.” ~ Jeff Brown Play connects us to our Real Power. The spirit of a child is open-hearted, receptive, vulnerable and sensitive. […]
Moving Beyond Thought ~ Transcending Thinking & Creating Inner Peace
When something is worrying us, we often try calming our discursive minds by thinking our way out of the problem. If we are concerned whether a new project is going to be successful, for instance, we hash over all the reasons why the project should work. The problem is thinking only leads to more thinking – our worries do not cease, and perhaps only worsen. Moving beyond thinking requires us not to think our way through the worry, but to transcend our minds altogether. There we find the peace and perspective we are looking for. Ways we can do this are: Taking some long, slow deep breaths Meditation or Yoga Doing something fun and creative Being physically active Spending time with family and friends Going into nature […]
5 Assumptions for Non-Judgmental Living ~ A Personal Challenge
“When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.” ~ Dr. Wayne Dyer We hear it all the time – don’t judge others. Yet living a non-judgmental life is not easy. We are judging machines, conditioned from birth to see through the lens of limitation. Here are two specific reasons why we judge: 1. When we judge others, we judge ourselves: The essence of judgment arises from a place of judging ourselves. When we are told at a young age that it is inappropriate to be __________ (such as angry), or not to be ____________ (such as silly), on some level we make these aspects bad or wrong. We then grow up projecting this idea onto others. If we see someone being angry […]
4 Ways to Not Know
“When nothing is sure, everything is possible.” ~Margaret Drabble Something we tend to struggle with is accepting and communicating that we do not know. To the extent that we have been raised to believe that knowledge is power, we have come to believe that not knowing is weak and unproductive. As such, being honest about not knowing is difficult, and we feel pressure to act as if we know, when in fact we don’t. We fear judgment, asking for help and feeling as if we are a failure. Where in your life are you not accepting that you do not know? If you were to make it OK to not know, what would you do differently? Four ways to express not knowing “I don’t know.” […]
I wonder…
“I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief.” ~Gerry Spence It is very easy to share our opinion with attachment, or even righteousness. We believe our perspective is the truth, and we deliver it as such. However, it is a real skill to share a point of view while still remaining open to others. We can do this by changing the tone of our voice to be warm or light. We can also use the child’s language of I wonder. “Wisdom is in not knowing.” ~ Deepak Chopra To be in wonder means to be open. It is an attitude of curiosity whereby we state our interest, and at the same time are open to not knowing the answer […]
Creating Colorful Perspectives
Where Your Attention Goes, the Energy Flows. The decisions we make are based on the perspectives we hold about a particular person or situation. A perspective may be: She doesn’t know what she’s doing. I’m stuck; I can’t figure this out. This meeting is pointless. It has to be done this way. A perspective is simply a lens through which we view the world. What we often fail to remember is that our perspective is one lens of many, and not the lens. It is one color in the spectrum of viewpoints. When we forget this, we get locked in our perspective, and fail to make ourselves available to all the other colorful options. The next time you feel stressed or uncomfortable in any way, […]